Guide This One
by Goddess-Kalahira
Summary: Spoilers for ME3: During Shepard's final moments she reflects her life and the prayer that Thane had prayed for her stake.


**A/N: I want to thank you for taking your time to read this story, I decided to try something new for this story and I hope you like it. I want to let everyone know that I still don't have a beta so if you see any mistakes, I'm truly sorry, it's 4 in the morning when I was typing up this story. **

Standing couple of feet away from the glass tube that would destroy the Reapers. Everyone she met had mentioned that when death comes knocking on your door, you relive a memory, the flash before your eyes. Standing there as she gathers up her strength to destroy the Reapers once and for all for the cost of her life. She could hear the faintest echoes of a prayer that she had heard not so long ago.

_Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness._

She could remember the broken man lying on his death bed, a man, a father, a husband, a widower, a lover, and a friend. Even though he was slowly dying from Kepral's syndrome, he still and went out to help and protect the people of the Citadel. He had even saved a Councilor's life at the cost of his own. A man that was filled of sin for all the lives he had took in his lifetime, which lived in a constant battle of where he went, a man filled with revenge towards the killers of his wife. A man who was about to die, until she had showed up and gave him a new purpose in fighting, he was now dying.

Firing a shot at the glass, hearing the cracking of glass, the voice of the man she loved who was trying to speak, but half way through the prayer his son had taken over and continued the prayer.

_Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand._

She remembered the stories and religion that he had took time and told her about his people. How there were different gods and goddesses, there was Amonkira, the Lord of Hunters, then there was Arashu, Goddess of Motherhood and Protection, and finally Kalahira the Goddess of Oceans and Afterlife. Then he would talk about how crossing the ocean was the adventure after death, if you are able to cross the sea, you are able to reunite the ones you loved and missed. She could remember reading his message about if he dies before she could reunite with him for one more time, that he would wait for her across the sea.

Another gunshot was fired, another cracking sound of the glass. It wouldn't take that long before she is able to break the glass and end this horrible nightmare once and for all.

_Kalahira, wash the sins from this one and set him on the distant shore of the infinite spirit._

The echoes of her memory is no longer the voice of her lover since he is unable to talk without gasping out for air that his blood refused to accept and help keep him alive. How his time was running up, and ever second he is slowly wasting away. She wondered how much pain he is in, she always wanted him to not feel pain when he dies, he had suffered enough and yet the world wants to hurt him even more when he is still barely alive.

She could remember those nights where she dreamed about the small boy that she met on Earth and the shadowy ink figures in her dream and the voices of the people she lost and loved. She remembered after the day that Thane and Mordin had died, she heard their voices and she had awoke from the dream, being greeted by tears from hearing their voices and that they are truly gone.

_Kalahira, this one's heart is pure, but beset by wickedness and contention._

Before Koylat had ever told her about the prayer being for her, even though Thane had already asked for forgiveness, she never suspected it was for her. How his last thoughts was about her, how she was pure to him, but she was beset by wickedness and contention by others and environment.

Reflecting now, she thought about Saren, Sovereign, The Illusive Man, the Collectors, Udina, and the Reapers. Through most of the people she had thought about, her life became hundred times difficult, how she had to make tough decisions and left one of her teammates behind who was family to her, just so they could defeat Saren and Sovereign, and how in the end Saren was indoctrinated, controlled right in the beginning, he might had good intentions, but he was controlled easily and in the end he had taken his own life. The Illusive Man had followed the same path as she tried to reason them that they were being control. All those times that could have been her, being controlled by an outside force that she was never aware of and yet she tried to set morals and beliefs for her to follow to make up every tough decision she make. The man she loved who heard her story and had watched her, still believed that she is pure, her heart was pure even though of all the contamination that has done during her lifetime.

_Guide this one to where the traveler never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve._

Her life has always been a constant travel for her; she could only see more road right before her and never in the end. She had started this adventure when she had joined the other orphan children on the streets of Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Yet, her adventure still had her following the narrow path, then she got enlisted, then she joined the N7 program, joined the Normandy and first met Nihlus and started her lifelong mission that all started on Eden Prime.

She could remember the nights of love and compassion that she had experienced with him. All this time, he was the right one for her, and it took her years to find him and only to know that her time with his was slowly coming to an end. She could remember the soft, gentle kisses he placed on her. How he was a gentle lover, someone who takes his time and makes sure that his lover is being pleased as well as himself. Remembering the verse of the prayer, _the lover never leaves, _her lover has left, but she was going to be guide to where her lover never leaves and she could try and attempt to have a life with him. Since they were unable to try during that time, he loved her as she loved him, she made sure to uphold the name of Siha were ever she goes, making sure that where ever Thane was at, that he is seeing her and is still proud of her.

She could remembered those moments where she was only eight years old and she was forced to go and try to get food to feed the other children when they had gone weeks without of food and the strangers that has passed them only stared at them with pity, but they never help. Thinking of a place where children like she once was would no longer be starving and that they could eat healthy and not fall to disease.

Firing a few times more, she realized that one more shot and it would be all over. Deciding that she is going to try her best to stand up fully, she stretched her back and felt the sharp pains from the wounds she had suffered from. Closing the disease between her and the solution to everyone's problem she remembers the last verse of the prayer that she had read.

_Guide this one, Kalahira, and she will be a companion to you as she was to me._

Days she had spent and even nights staying in Thane's quarters as they talk about everything. They talked about how they were similar, they talked about their past, the deepest darkest secret that she could only find herself telling only to him. The time she tried to attempt to make him smile, she had researched up jokes and had asked Mordin for non-medical advice if he knew any ideas that she could do to cheer Thane up or just try to make him happy so he doesn't have to spend the rest of his remaining time not trying to enjoy something for one more time.

The night before they went to the Collector's base, she was reading the same data pad over and over again hoping for some miracle, some reassurance that they were all going to survive this and that they have another day to fight and be with their loved ones. Seeing Thane's calm composure crumble right before her as he mentioned that he is afraid about what was going to happen and how it shamed him. She kissed him and spent most of the night trying to reassure him that everything was going to be fine; it took some time before he was able to relax and thanked her for the encouraging words.

Feeling the pressure between her finger and the trigger, she kept moving closer and before she heard the sound of glass flying everywhere and explosions that were soon to follow, she just muttered one thing, "I'm coming, Thane." Pressing the trigger, she felt explosions everywhere as she kept her focus on her lover, her friend, her world, her Thane Krios.


End file.
